Funny Quotes

Open Discussion - for our Readers, Islanders, and Web Site Visitors alike. Discussion regarding any and all aspects of Beaver Island are welcome here. Also a place for general Beaver Island conversation and discussion.

Moderator: Gillespie

Nich
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2003 5:34 am

[b]Almost Daily Quotes[/b]

Post by Nich »

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.
Fred Allen
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Milton Berle
Ted Nicholas
nich01@tds.net
Nich
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2003 5:34 am

[b]Almost Daily Quotes[/b]

Post by Nich »

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Steven Wright
Boy, those French: They have a different word for everything!
Steve Martin
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
David Letterman
Ted Nicholas
nich01@tds.net
Nich
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2003 5:34 am

[b]Almost Daily Quotes[/b]

Post by Nich »

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies". So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said "compact cars".
Steven Wright
CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts ... regular, premium and unleaded.
Jay Leno
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres
Ted Nicholas
nich01@tds.net
Nich
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2003 5:34 am

Almost Daily Quotes

Post by Nich »

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.

Mel Brooks
Ted Nicholas
nich01@tds.net
Nich
Posts: 155
Joined: Sat Nov 15, 2003 5:34 am

Almost Daily Quotes

Post by Nich »

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...
Steven Wright
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Woody Allen
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen
Ted Nicholas
nich01@tds.net
Post Reply